SAMPLE LYRICS & DIALOGUE    

 

 

            Prelude

         

                       [Song:  Song of the Suitor]  

 

                            Antoine

                        I WILL HASTEN BEFORE THE STEPS OF THE DAY

                        TO THE MOUNTAINTOP TO SEEK OUT MY LONELY DOVE

                        MY LOVE HAS THE EYES OF AN ERMINE

                        AND THE FLOWING HAIR OF A FIELD OF RICE

                        HER MOUTH IS A PINK SHELL, SET WITH PEARLS

 
                         Camille

                       WILL HE SEEK OUT HIS LONELY DOVE

                       AMONG THE OAKS OF THE FOREST

                       HE HAS HUNG ABOUT ME A NECKLACE OF SHELLS

                      Both

                       THERE ARE THREE RED BEADS FOR MY LOVE

                       THREE PURPLE ONES FOR MY FEARS

                       THREE BLUE ONES FOR MY HOPES

        
                        Antoine

                       MAY MY LOVE BLOW OUT THIS TORCH

                       AND SAY SHE IS MINE!

​

                     Camille

                       WILL MY TRUE LOVE FIND ME HERE

                       AMONG THE OAKS OF THE FOREST?

​

                      Antoine

                       WILL SHE BLOW OUT THIS TORCH

                       AND SAY SHE LOVES ME?

                     Both

                       THEN THE HOPES OF A NATION

                       WILL LIE AT OUT FEET

                     Antoine

                       AND I WILL SMOKE MY PIPE OF PEACE

                    Both

                       BY THE CRADLE OF OUR CHILD!

 

                   

 

 

         Act One

                     Scene One

 

                      [song:  Diamonds from Top to Toe]

 

                    Master Blazius

                               LET THOSE WHO WISH TO LEARN SOME NEWS

                               FIRST BRING ME A GLASS OF WINE

                               ANTOINE TURNED TWENTY-ONE TODAY

                               A BETTER MAN YOU’LL NEVER FIND!

 

                               MY STUDENT’S FULL OF FLOWERY PHRASES

                               TRAVELED TO SO MANY PLACES

                               HALF THE TIME YOU DON’T KNOW

                               HOW TO ANSWER HIM!

 

                      Dame Pluche

                               BRING ME A GLASS OF WATER, RABBLE…

                               WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW?

                               KNOW TODAY YOUR MASTER’S NIECE

                               ARRIVES AT THE CHATEAU

 

                               SHE’S FINISHED WITH HER EDUCATION

                               IT’S A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION

                               NEVER HAVE YOU SEEN SUCH PURITY

 
                           Master Blazius & Dame Pluche

                               HE’S / SHE’S A DIAMOND

                               FROM TOP TO TOE

                               THAT IS WHAT I LONG TO SHOW

                               IT’S TO MY CREDIT

                               I’M HIS / HER GUARDIAN

 

                             Dame Pluche

                               HER PURITY AND GOODNESS

                               WOULD PUT A MONK TO SHAME

 

                           Master Blazius

                               HE CAN’T SEE A BLADE OF GRASS

                               WITHOUT GIVING YOU THE LATIN NAME!

 

                           Dame Pluche

                               HER BEAUTY MAKES THE ANGELS SIGH

   

                         Master Blazius

                               WHEN IT RAINS, HE’LL TELL YOU WHY

              

(Lights up on Antoine and Camille)

 

                          Antoine and Camille

                               IT’S HARD TO KNOW WHO HAS IT BETTER

                               YOU….OR I!

 

                               WE ARE DIAMONDS

                               FROM HEAD TO TOE

                               THEY WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW

                               THAT THEY DESERVE OUR PRAISE

                               WE’RE THEIR PROTEGES!

                                

              Blazius & Pluche                                                Antoine & Camille

THEY ARE  DIAMONDS                                WE ARE DIAMONDS

FROM HEAD TO TOE                                      FROM HEAD TO TOE

THAT IS WHAT                                                THAT IS WHAT 

EVERYONE WILL KNOW                              EVERYONE WILL KNOW

WE’LL TAKE CREDIT                                    THEY’LL TAKE CREDIT

WE’RE THEIR GUARDIANS                          THEY’RE OUR GUARDIANS

 

The Baron

Father Bridaine, let me introduce Master Blazius, my son's tutor.  My son yesterday,  at eight minutes past twelve noon, turned twenty-one years old. He has earned his degree, and passed in three subjects. Master Blazius, I introduce to you Father Bridaine, parish priest, and my dearest friend.

 

Blazius

Passed in four subjects, your lordship:  literature, philosophy, law and physiognomy.

 

Baron

Yes, all right, all right…..go to your room, my dear Blazius; my son will be here soon.  Freshen up a bit, and return when the bell rings.

                                              (Blazius exits)

 

Bridaine

Shall I tell you what I am thinking, my lord? Your son's tutor smells strongly of wine.

 

Baron

What?  Impossible !

 

Bridaine

I am as sure as I breathe. He spoke to me very closely just now. He smells dreadfully of wine.

 

Baron

No more of this. I tell you, it is impossible.                      

                                              (Dame Pluche enters)

There you are, good Dame Pluche!  My niece is with you, no doubt ?

 

Dame Pluche

She is following me, my lord. I preceded her by a few steps.

 

Baron

Father Bridaine,  my friend. I present to you Dame Pluche, my niece's governess.  My niece, yesterday at seven o'clock p.m., turned  eighteen years of age. She is leaving the best convent in France.  Dame Pluche, I present to you Father Bridaine, priest of the parish, and my friend.

 

Dame Pluche

The best convent in France, my lord and, I may add, the most sanctimonious girl in the convent.

 

Baron

Yes, yes, very good.  Run along, Dame Pluche, and get yourself together. My niece will be here shortly, I do hope.   Be ready when the dinner bell rings.

                                              (Exit Dame Pluche)

 

Bridaine

That old lady seems rather……pompous, doesn’t she?

 

Baron

Pompous, perhaps, but…her virtue is beyond reproach.

 

Bridaine

But the tutor smells of wine. I am absolutely certain of it.

 

Baron

Father Bridaine, there are moments when I doubt your friendship. Are you trying to contradict me?  Do not speak of that matter.   Now then, I have been considering the idea of marrying my son to my niece. They are a match made in heaven. Their education has cost me six thousand crowns.

                                                              

Bridaine

Will the wedding ceremony take place here or in Paris?

 

Baron

That is just what I expected, Bridaine!  I was absolutely certain you would ask that question! Well, then, my friend — what would you say if those very hands — yes, Bridaine, your own hands — don't look at them so disparagingly — were destined to bless the happy realization of my dearest dreams? Eh?

 

Bridaine

 I am silent; gratitude seals my lips!

 

Baron

Look out of this window.  Do you see my servants crowding to the gate?  My two children are

arriving at the same moment!  It is the happiest combination! I have arranged things in such a way that all is foreseen; my niece will be introduced by this door on the left, my son by the door on the right.  What do you say to that?  It will be the greatest delight to me to see how they will

address one another, and what they will say. The children loved each other since the day they were born.

                                              (beat)

Say, I have an idea!

 

Bridaine

 What is it, my Lord?

 

Baron

During dinner, without it seeming…planned — do you understand, my friend ? — while toasting a glass of wine — uh…do you know Latin, Bridaine ?

 

Bridaine

I should hope so!   

                                              (Grandly)

In vino, veritas!

 

Baron

                                              (Confused)

No, no, no……Latin, Bridane! 

                                              (Bridaine stares blankly)

Oh, never mind, never mind.  I would be very happy to see you test my son, discreetly of course — in front of his cousin—that cannot fail to make a favorable and lasting impression!  Ask him to speak a little Latin; not precisely while we’re eating…that would spoil our appetites, and as for me, I don't understand a word of it, but after dessert, don’t you see?

 

Bridaine

If you don't understand a word of it, my lord, perhaps your niece suffers from the same affliction!

 

Baron

All the more reason. Would you have a woman admire what she understands? Were you born in a barn, Bridaine? That is a pathetically impalpable piece of reasoning.

 

Bridaine

 I don't know much about women; but it seems to me difficult to admire what one does not understand.

 

Baron

Ah, Bridaine, but I know them; I know the charming, indefinable creatures!

 

                              [SONG:  Charming Indefinable Creatures]

 

               WHEN SHE SAYS IT’S TIME TO TALK

               THAT’S WHEN YOU TAKE A WALK

               PACK YOUR BAGS AND LEAVE TOWN!

               IF YOU STAY

               YOU’RE GONNA PAY!

               YOUR HEAD’LL BE REELING

               SHE’LL ONLY WANT YOU BOTH TO GET

               IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS

 

               THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK

               IS WHEN SHE ASKS YOU HOW SHE LOOKS

               SHE NEVER WANTS AN HONEST REPLY!

 

        Bridaine

               IT’S A STICKY SITUATION

​

       Blazius

               SHE JUST WANTS YOUR ADULATION

 

           Baron and Bridaine

               ALL YOU CAN EVER DO IS LIE

               THESE CHARMING ENIGMATICAL CREATURES!

               WITH SUCH STRANGE, ERRATIC FEATURES

               TEND TO DRIVE THE AVERAGE MAN INSANE!

                              

          Baron

               WHEN SHE SAYS THERE’S NOTHING WRONG

               YOU KNOW NOTHIN’S RIGHT!

               TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE

               YOU’D BE UP HALF THE NIGHT!

               INSTEAD OF TELLIN’ YOU

               SHE’LL YELL AT YOU

               FOR NOT BEING SMARTER

 

            Father Bridaine

               SHE WON’T SOLVE  THE PROBLEM,

               SHE’D PREFER TO BE A MARTYR

              

             Baron and Bridaine

               THESE CHARMING ENIGMATICAL CREATURES!

               WITH SUCH STRANGE, ERRATIC FEATURES

               TEND TO DRIVE THE AVERAGE MAN INSANE!

 

               AND YET WHEN ALL’S SAID AND DONE

               WHAT AM I….WITHOUT ONE!?

              

                (Enter on one side Antoine, Camille on the other)

Ah!  Good day, children!  Good day, my dear Camille, and you, my dear Antoine! Kiss me and kiss each other.

 

Antoine

Good day, father, and you, my darling sister. How delightful; how happy I am !

 

Camille

How do you do, father…and you, cousin?

 

Antoine

How tall you are, Camille, and as beautiful as the day!

 

Baron

When did you leave Paris, Antoine ?

 

Antoine

Wednesday, I think — or Tuesday. Why, you are transformed into a woman! So I am a man, am I?  It seems only yesterday I saw you only so high!

 

Baron

You must both be tired.  It has been a long journey, and the day is hot.

 

Antoine

Oh, no, not at all! Look how pretty Camille is, father.

 

Baron

Come, Camille, give your cousin a kiss.

 

Camille

I beg your pardon?

 

Baron

A compliment deserves a kiss.  Give her a kiss, my boy!

 

Antoine

Lovers may kiss one another….friends rarely do so.

 

Camille

Neither friends nor lovers should accept anything they cannot repay.

 

Baron

             (To Father Bridaine)

This doesn’t seem to be a good omen, does it?

 

Father Bridaine
(To the Baron)

Too much modesty is a defect, no doubt ; but marriage has a way of bringing couples out of their shells.

 

Baron

       (To Master Bridaine)

I am shocked — I am hurt! That answer displeased me. Pardon me ! Did you see that she made a show of crossing herself ?  Come here, and let me speak to you.  It pains me to no end. This moment, that was to be so sweet, is completely spoiled for me. I am annoyed… distraught.   Everything is going to Hell!

 

Father Bridaine

Talk to them; look at them turning their backs on each other.

 

Baron

Well, children, what in the world are you thinking of?  What are you doing there, Camille, in front of that tapestry?

 

Camille

       (Looking at a picture)

That is a fine portrait, uncle. Isn’t she my great grandmother?

 

Baron

Yes, my child, or, at least, your great grandmother’s sister;  since the charming lady never contributed — except, I believe, in prayers — to the enhancement of the family.  She was a religious woman, I declare.

 

Camille

Oh yes, a saint. She is my great aunt Isabel.  How becoming she looks in that nun's dress!

 

Baron

And you, Antoine, what are you doing behind that flower pot?

 

Antoine

That's a charming flower, father. It is called a heliotrope.

 

Baron

Are you joking? Such a fancy name for such an insignificant flower!  It is no bigger than a fly.

 

Antoine

That little flower no bigger than a fly is worth having all the same.

 

Father Bridaine

No doubt our young scholar is right. Ask him what species it belongs to, or how it gets its color, he will entrance you with a description of said plant, from its roots to the tips of its leaves.

 

Antoine

I…don't know so much about it, Your Reverence.  I just think it smells good, that’s all.

 

Baron

Venerable Dame Pluche, I am pained.

 

Dame Pluche

Is it ……possible, my lord ?

 

Baron

Yes, Dame Pluche,  possible.  I had planned it for a long time now — I had even put everything down in my journal— that this day was to be the most enjoyable of my life. Yes, my good madam, the most enjoyable. You know how I planned to marry my son to my niece. It was decided, arranged — I had even asked Father Bridaine to perform the ceremony, here in this very room — and I see, that these children speak to each other coldly;  they have not said a word.

 

Dame Pluche

There they come, my lord. Do they know of your scheme?

 

Baron

I dropped a few hints to each of them in private. I think it would be well, since they are thrown together now, that we should sit down under this welcome shade and leave them to themselves for a moment, while we listen in, of course.

(He withdraws to one side with Dame Pluche. Enter Camille and Antoine)

 

               [song:  Games We Used to Play]

 

    Antoine

          IT’S NOT NICE TO REFUSE A KISS

 

   Camille

                I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS

​

  Antoine

LET'S STROLL THROUGH THE WILDWOOD

​

Camille

I HAVE NO WISH TO RELIVE MY CHILDHOOD

YESTERDAY'S ALREADY DONE

​

 Both

AND TOMORROW NEVER COMES.

​

  Antoine

LET'S FLOAT

IN A BOAT

DOWNSTREAM

IT'LL SEEM JUST LIKE A DREAM

NEVER FEAR

YOU CAN STEER

AND I WILL BE THE NAVIGATOR

​

Camille

I'M TOO OLD TO AMUSE MYSELF

WITH THE GAMES WE USED TO PLAY

​

Antoine (overlapping)

WHAT ABOUT THE GAMES WE USED TO PLAY?

​

THESE MEMORIES NEVER FADE

​

Camille

IT'S JUST A MASQUERADE

​

Antoine

OUR WHOLE PAST ONCE LAY HERE

​

Camille

BUT NOW IT'S DISAPPEARED!

​

Antoine

LET'S THROW

SKIPPING STONES

IN THE CREEK

I WILL BEAT YOU JUST AS I ONCE DID

AS A KID

​

Camille

YOU NEVER DID!

I CAN SEE YOUR MEMORY'S NOT IMPROVED WITH AGE

I'M TOO OLD TOO APPRECIATE ALL THINGS WE USED TO DO

​

Antoine (overlapping)

YOU'RE NOT TOO OLD TO APPRECIATE ALL THE THINGS WE USED TO DO

I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.

​

                                              (Exit in opposite directions)

 

Baron

                                              (Entering with Dame Pluche)

Do you hear, my excellent Dame Pluche? I expected the softest harmony; and I feel as if I were attending a concert where the violin is playing "My heart it sighs," while the flute plays "Long live King Henry." Think of the frightful discord such a combination would produce ! Yet that is what is going on in my heart!

 

               [Song: Discombobulated]

  

Dame Pluche

CAMILLE’S NOT TO BLAME

 

Baron

WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE?

 

Dame Pluche

NOTHING’S IN WORSE TASTE

THAN TAKING BOAT TRIPS DOWN THE RIVER

SHE HAS AN OBLIGATION

TO GUARD HER REPUTATION

YOUR FUTURE DAUGHTER

MUSTN’T RISK HERSELF ON OPEN WATER!  

IT’S BEST TO STAY

FAR AWAY

FROM DANGEROUS PURSUITS

​

Baron 

REALLY MADAM!

 WHAT COULD HAPPEN?

YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A POOR, CONTEMPTIBLE MISGUIDED NINCOMPOOP!

 

                                              (Enter Blazius, who approaches the Baron)

 

Blazius

MY LORD IT’S BEEN REPORTED

THE PRIEST’S WORDS ARE DISTORTED

HE DRANK WINE FOR HOURS

THEN HE TRAMPLED ON THE FLOWERS!

 

     Baron

       THIS REPORT’S ABSURD

 

     Blazius

         I GIVE YOU MY WORD! 

           HE DRANK A DOZEN BOTTLES  

          AND WHAT’S MORE

              HIS SPEECH WAS SLURRED

 

       Baron

             MY PLANS ARE SHATTERED

                I’VE LOST ALL THAT MATTERS

           

          Pluche

               WHY DID I BRING CAMILLE!

 

           Blazius

                 I NEED A HEARTY MEAL!

  

                                  Baron              

                            THIS IMPORTANT DAY

                           HAS SOMEHOW GONE ASTRAY

 

                        Dame Pluche and Master Blazius

                               AND YET WE’RE HERE TO RECTIFY

                                       YOUR PROBLEMS, IF YOU’LL LET US TRY….        

                              

               (Enter Master Bridaine)

 

                         Father Bridaine

                               MY LORD, A WORD WITH YOU

                                                                                                                

                          Baron

                               OH GOOD LORD, NOT YOU, TOO!

 

                            Father Bridaine

                               YOUR SON IS FLIRTING WITH THE PEASANTS

 

                           Baron

                                WHAT?!  THAT CAN’T BE TRUE!

​

                               Father Bridaine

                                I’M ABSOLUTELY SURE

 

                              Dame Pluche

                               SEEMS HIGHLY IMMATURE!

 

                          Father Bridaine

                               HE PLAYED “DUCK,  DUCK,  GOOSE” WITH THEM

 

                          Pluche

                               A STRANGE WAY TO SEDUCE THEM

 

                         All

                               MY (HIS) BRAIN IS REELING

                               SEE HOW I’M (HE’S) FEELING

                               MY (HIS) IDEAS ARE ALL DISCOMBOBULATED.

 

                             Baron

                             THIS IMPORTANT DAY

                                                     HAS SOMEHOW GONE ASTRAY               

                                  A LAWYER CANNOT FLIRT WITH PEASANTS

 

                         Dame Pluche, Master Blazius & Father Bridaine

                               TAKE BACK ALL THE WEDDING PRESENTS! 

                         HE ONCE WAS ELATED

                          NOW HE’S AGITATED

                      HE’S A DISCOMBULATED MAN!

​

​

                             Act One

                                Scene Two

 

Antoine

                                              (stepping forward)

Come down quick, Rosette, and come here.

 

Rosette

                                              (entering)

Yes, Antoine.

 

Antoine

You saw me from your window, and you did not come, you wicked girl! Give me that hand of yours, quick now, and those cheeks to be kissed.

 

Rosette

Yes, Antoine.

 

Antoine

Are you married, little one? They told me so.

 

Rosette

Oh, no

 

Antoine

Why?   There isn't a prettier girl than you in the village. We'll find you a match, child. Your sister Camille is come! Have you seen her?

 

Rosette

Not yet. I was with my tutor.

 

Antoine

Be off quick, and put on your new dress, and come to supper at the chateau.

 

​

 

 

Act One

Scene Three

.

                                              (Enter Master Blazius and Antoine)

 

Master Blazius

My lord, your father is in despair.

 

Antoine

Why so?

 

Master Blazius

You realize, of course, that he had plans for you to marry your cousin Camille

 

Antoine

Well, I ask for nothing better!

 

Master Blazius

Nevertheless, the Baron thinks he perceives an incompatibility in your characters.

 

Antoine

That is unlucky. I can't remodel mine.

 

Master Blazius

Will you allow this to make the match impossible?

 

Antoine

I tell you once more I ask no better than to marry Camille.  Go and find the Baron and tell him so.

 

Master Blazius

My lord, I withdraw; here comes your cousin.

                                              (Exit. Enter Camille)

 

Antoine

Up already, cousin? And you’ll be happy to know, I haven’t altered my opinion of you since yesterday; you are ever so pretty!

 

Camille

 Let us be serious, Antoine Your father wants to make a match between us. I don't know what you think of it, but I consider it right to forewarn you that I have made up my mind on the matter,

 

Antoine

The worse for me, if you dislike me.

 

Camille

No more than anyone else; I simply don't intend to marry. There is nothing in that to wound your pride!

 

Antoine

I don't deal in pride: I care for neither its joys nor its pains.

 

Camille

I came here only to settle my mother's property; tomorrow I go back to my convent

 

Antoine

Well, you play fair. Shake hands and let us be good friends!

 

Camille

I don't like demonstrations.

 

Antoine

                                              (Taking her hand)

Give me your hand, Camille, I beg of you. What do you fear of me ? You don't choose that we should be married. Very well! Very well, we won’t get married. Is that a reason for hating one another ? Are we not cousins? When your mother blessed this marriage in her will, she wished that our friendship should be unending, that is all she wished. Why marry? there is your hand, there is mine, and to keep them united thus to our last sigh, do you think we need a priest ? We need none but God.

 

Camille

I am very glad my refusal leaves you unconcerned.

 

Antoine

I am not unconcerned, Camille Your love would have given me life, but your friendship shall console me for the lack of it. Don't leave the chateau tomorrow. Yesterday you refused to stroll round the garden with me, because you saw in me a husband you would not accept. Stay here a few days; let me hope that our past life is not dead for ever in your heart.

 

Camille

 I feel I must leave.

 

Antoine

Why?

 

Camille

That is my secret.

 

Antoine

Do you love another?

 

Camille

 No; but I will go.

 

Antoine

Is it irrevocable?

 

Camille

Yes, irrevocable.

 

Antoine

Well! Adieu. I should have liked to sit with you under the chestnuts in the little wood, and chat like kind friends for an hour or two. But if you don't care for that, let us say no more. Good-bye, my child.

                                              (Antoine  Exits. Enter Dame Pluche)

 

Camille

Is all ready, Dame Pluche? Shall we start tomorrow?   

 

Dame Pluche

Yes, dear unspotted dove. The Baron called me a nincompoop yesterday, and I am delighted to go.

 

Camille

Stay;  here is a note you will take to Lord Antoine, before dinner, from me.

 

Dame Pluche.

O Lord in heaven! Is it possible?  You writing a note to a man?

 

Camille

Am I not to be his wife? Surely I may write to my fiancé.

 

Dame Pluche.

Your fiancé! Heaven help us!  And besides…..Lord Antoine has just left this spot. What could you possibly have to write about? Can it be true that you are forgetting your delicate upbringing?

 

Camille

Do what I tell you, and make all ready for my departure.

 

 

 

Act One

Scene Four

 

                                              (Enter Father Bridaine)

 

                               [song:  That Noble Chair]

 

Father Bridaine

Wretch that I am a mechanical ass, a brazen drunkard gets me banished to the lower end of the table. Holy Catholic Church!  Farewell, venerable arm-chair in which many and many a time I have thrown myself back stuffed with juicy dishes !

 

               GIVING HIM THE CHAIR TOTHE BARON’S RIGHT

               MUST BE WRONG

               I’VE SAT IN IT FOR SO LONG!

 

               THE BUTLER WILL POUR FOR HIM

               THE FIRST GLASS OF WINE

               AND BY THE TIME

               THE DISHES REACH ME, THEY’LL BE COLD!

 

               THE TUTOR HAD THAT PLACE OF HONOR YESTERDAY

               THAT MADE PERFECT SENSE

               FOR FOUR LONG YEARS, HE’D BEEN AWAY

               BUT TO CONTINUE THIS AFFRONT

               IS MORE THAN I CAN BEAR

               THIS IS SO UNFAIR

               HOW I'LL MISS THAT NOBLE CHAIR!

 

            

MY NOBLE CHAIR AND I 

MUST SAY GOODBYE

IT CAN'T BE RIGHT

WHEN I'VE BEEN SO WRONGED

HE USURPED MY PLACE OF HONOR THERE

IT WAS MY CHAIR

  WHERE I THOUGHT I BELONGED

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       THE TUTOR CAUGHT ON FAST

      HE LEARNED TO PLAY THE GAME

I KNEW THEN THAT THINGS COULD NEVER STAY THE SAME

BUT TO CONTINUE THAT AFFRONT

IS MORE THAN I CAN BEAR

LIFE IS SO UNFAIR

HOW I'LL MISS THAT NOBLE CHAIR

       

(Spoken)                

I must return to my humble home.

i'ed rather be first in the village than second in Rome. 

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Acto One

Scene Five

               (Enter Rosette and Antoine)

 

Antoine

Rosette, come and take a walk with me.

 

Rosette

Do you think all these kisses do me any good?

 

Antoine

What harm do you see in them?  Are you not Camille's sister? Am I not your cousin just as I am hers?

 

Rosette

Words are words, and kisses are kisses. I am no better than a fool, and I find it out too, as soon as I have something to say. Fine ladies know what it means if you kiss their right hand, or if you kiss the left. Their fathers kiss them on the forehead; their mothers on the cheeks; and their lovers on the lips.  Now everybody kisses me on both cheeks, and that vexes me.

 

Antoine

How pretty you are, child!

 

Rosette

All the same, you must not be angry with me for that. How sad you seem this morning ! So your marriage plans are off?

 

Antoine

The peasants of your village remember they loved me; the dogs in the poultry yard and the trees in the wood remember it too ; but Camille does not remember. And your marriage. Rosette — when is it to be ?

 

Rosette

Please let’s not talk about that. Talk about the weather, of the flowers here, of your horses, of my hats!

 

Antoine

Of whatever you please, of whatever can pass your lips without robbing them of that heavenly smile.

                                              (He kisses her.)

 

Rosette

You respect my smile, but you don't spare my lips much, it seems to me. Why, do look; there is a drop of rain fallen on my hand, and yet the sky is clear.

 

Antoine

 Forgive me.

 

Rosette

What have I done to make you cry?

 

                                              (They exit)

 

 

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Act One

Scene Six

 

                                              (The Chateau)

 

                                              (Enter Master Blazius and the Baron)

 

Blazius

My lord, I have a strange thing to tell you. A few minutes ago I was looking out of the window between two flower vases that seemed to me to be in a modern style, though they are copied from the Etruscan.

 

Baron

What an intolerable manner of talking you have adopted, Blazius! Your speeches are incomprehensible!

 

 

        Blazius

Listen to me, my lord; lend me a moment's attention.

 

WHILE I WAS DRINKING WINE

OSTENSIBLY TO PASS THE TIME

BUT ALSO TO AID IN MY DIGESTION

 

I SAW DAME PLUCHE PASS

UNDER MY WINDOW SASH

ALL OUT OF BREATH

AND WITH A FACE ALL RED WAS CAMILLE

 

         Baron

    WHAT’S THAT YOU SAID?

     WHOSE FACE WAS RED?

WAS IT MY NIECE OR DAME PLUCHE?

 

     Blazius

IT WAS YOUR NIECE MY LORD

SHE LOOKED AGITATED

 

      Baron

PERHAPS SHE HAD BEEN CHASING  BUTTERFLIES!

 

     Blazius

MY LORD, THAT MAY BE TRUE

AND NORMALLY,  I’D DEFER TO YOU

BUT I HEARD HER TELL DAME PLUCHE:

“GO FIND HIM NOW, OR IT’S ALL OVER!”

 

CAMILLE HIT HER ON THE HEAD

WITH HER FAN, THERE IN THE FLOWER BED

THEN I SAW DAME PLUCHE JUMP IN THE CLOVER!

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Baron

AND JUST HOW DID THE GOVERNESS REPLY?

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Blazius

SHE SAID THAT SHE WOULD NOT GO!

ANTOINE'S BEEN PRETTY BUSY

FLIRTING WITH THE PRETTY GIRLS

HE'S COME TO KNOW

WITH ALL THE FLIRTIN'

ONE THINGS' FOR CERTAIN

HE'S SUNK TO A NEW LOW

.

 Baron

I DON'T PROFESS TO UNDERSTAND

WHY NOTHING'S GOING AS I PLANNED

SEDUCING ALL THOSE 'GOOSE' GIRLS

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Both

...AND JUMPING IN THE CLOVER!

IT'S ALL OVER!

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Blazius

Don't you clearly understand, my lord, what that indicated?

 

Baron

No, upon my honor, my friend; no, I don't understand a word of it, good or bad. All this seems to be a piece of ill-regulated conduct, but equally devoid of motive and excuse.

 

Blazius

It means that your niece has a clandestine correspondence.

 

Baron

What are you saying? Do you reflect who you are speaking of? Weigh your words, Father!

 

Blazius

I might weigh them in the heavenly scales that are to weigh my soul at the last judgment, without finding a single syllable of them that does not ring true. Your niece has a clandestine correspondence.

 

Baron

But consider, my friend, the impossibility of what you are saying!

 

Blazius

Why should she have entrusted a letter to her governess? Why should she have exclaimed, "Find him ! " while the other sulked and pouted?

 

Baron

And to whom was this letter addressed?

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